Where He Takes Us...

Sometimes, I'd rather be blindfolded when being led by the hand. The fog conceals the future, while the present is muddled, but clear. It would be so much easier to go through life unaware of all the twists and turns the God brings you through. No attachment, no unfulfilled hopes, no empty dreams. Just where you're going and God holding your hand. Instead, we let our hearts run free, holding onto something, though there lies an unseen turn just ahead. Then the turn comes, and what you thought was part of your final destination fades into the fog behind you, forgotten. So you decide to live unattached, without hopes, dreamless. Taking what comes along without putting stock in it. And you avoid pain and separation... for a while.

Then there comes a particularly unexpected twist. So unexpected, in fact, that all evidence points to this, a revelation from God--it's part of your destination, what you never saw coming. So you slowly, hesitantly grab hold of this new thought. At first you reject it. Then you consider it. Then you pursue it, but with caution. Then, you become attached to the point of pain, and something occurs to you--"If my hand gets pulled in the opposite direction, this will hurt." Because what was once felt like a nudge in that direction was nothing more than a casual bump. And you dread that turn, long for that detachment, because the turn would have come so easily, so unhindered had you just walked by, emotionless.

"But would it have been worth it to pass on by?" you wonder. "Had I not felt that nudge, made myself vulnerable, would I be as complete a person as I am now?" And you think, just maybe, even if you go through extreme pain at the turn, that the pain will have been worth it. It was a nudge, and you followed the signal. You were led through it, not past it. And you might never know, but you follow anyway. Led through the fog and the pain, holding onto what you know matters most beyond the shadow of a doubt, trusting that you aren't being led to your downfall. So just hold tighter. Don't let go. Be ready for the turn. But be ready to embrace what lies in your path, despite the pain that might ensue. And we continue on, for we are Followers.

Random Thoughts at 2AM

So, here's stuff:

I was thinking... I feel like we grow out of our knowledge of the purpose of life. If you think about it, kids often have a greater understanding of what's important than adults do. Take joy, for instance. How many adults have you met that seem to have never understood the concept? But kids find joy in even the smallest things. Take a trip to the store. You'll likely find grumpy adults jockeying for position in the checkout aisles, obsessing over what the next day brings, while a 4-year-old smiles in delight as he grabs a dirty penny from the ground, his new treasure. "Foolishness!" we adults would say. It's just a penny, right?
Wrong. Pennies bring children joy. Is that less substantial than when the latest contribution to an adult's 401k or when the Lions win the Super Bowl brings an adult joy? In then end, the "important" things of this life are really rather absurd in the Grand Scheme of things. The only things that last are eternal. So while we work during our wait for eternity, why not get excited over a penny? Jesus thought it made a pretty decent parable. (Sort of)

It's not just joy, though. Kids have an innocence that adults have far since left behind. I once sat through a VBS skit where a hypothetical child was said to be foolish for one of the things he thought. It disturbed me a little, because what was said to be foolishness was really innocence. And there's a large difference. That state of innocence, especially now, quickly disappears. Children are children for shorter amounts of time, and that saddens me.

Children also have an amazing ability to trust. They have yet to learn the harsh way of the world... but I would say their trust sets them apart. True trust is childlike trust. No reserves, no hesitation. Just trusting that Daddy will catch you after Uncle throws. And pure bliss in the middle of it all. I think this is what Jesus had in mind when He said that "No one will enter the Kingdom of Heaven unless he has the faith of a child." A paraphrase, of course. But true, nonetheless.

Lastly is a child's simplicity. They have such a grasp on the little things in life, like finding pennies. Flowers made of construction paper take on their own form of life in the eyes of a child. It is a child's simple nature that often puts a smile on our face and a tear in our eye. The belief that a hug and a smile can turn away all evil is such a beautiful thing, and can do wonders for someone at the edge of losing hope. Ironic, that is often a child that pulls from the cliffs over which we dangle.

All in all, I honestly think children have a better grasp on reality than adults do. We should listen to them sometimes. Because, along with everything else, children have the ability to tell the truth--what adults always think but rarely say. If you want an honest opinion... ask a child.

In the Mind of 10-Year-Old Jordan

So, I was a pretty weird little kid. I'm still weird, but I was advanced in weirdness for my age. For instance, I learned a little bit of the least common multiple rule by using my fingers. And I found great delight in the fact that I knew what square roots were. I was also the kid that peed in front of a couple making out on the beach, the kid that tried to "fly" by tying a sash around his neck to a support beam in his house and jumping off a mini-elephant slide, and the kid that tried to kick an appraiser in the butt for "trying to steal his house." Yeah. I was that kid.

All that to say that I developed some weird theories at the age of ten. One that comes to mind is the "relative timeline" thing. This is how it went: So, I always was amused by the fact that time seemed to fly by at some times, while at other times it moved at an unbearably slow pace. So, in a random way, I devised this thought. Maybe we all experience life at our own pace. Like, we all experience the same reality (with no differences in events or the like), but none of us experiences it at the exact same moment.

Say, for instance, that you hand me a banana. Nothing complicated, just an exchange of delicious fruit. But as I experience that, you could, in your mind, be at a totally different point of life doing something completely unrelated, like losing your first tooth or getting a haircut. You are unbound by my relative time.

In this "relative timeline," this would continue for everyone until everybody collectively reached the end of the existence of time. It just blew my mind to think that I'm the only one really experiencing these events at this point in time.

Well, that's enough of 10-year-old Jordan. Back to being a college student.

Day of Remembrance

This is my day of remembrance.

For the time I fell on the stake on severed my tonsils.
Thanks for keeping me from further harm.
This is my day of remembrance

For when I nearly hung myself trying to "fly."
Thanks for keeping me from choking to death.
This is my day of remembrance.

For when I got lost in the woods, scratched and scared.
Thanks for hearing my tear-filled cry.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the night we came back to find Grandma had a stroke.
Thanks for taking care of her.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the tough years Grandma spent living at our house.
Thanks for giving us peace and patience.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the time I started basketball, something new and different.
Thanks for giving me amazing new friendships.
This is my day of remembrance.

For that time at Lake Ann I rededicated my life to You.
Thanks for calling me to grow with You.
This is my day of remembrance.

For when we changed churches because of some issues.
Thanks for giving us a great church and close friends.
This is my day of remembrance.

For when busted myself up over numerous basketball games.
Thanks for preventing any major injuries.
This is my day of remembrance.

For when I had that crazy allergic reaction and almost died.
Thanks for the second chance and new perspective.
This is my day of remembrance.

For  when I went off to college, unsure what to expect.
Thanks for the awesome friends you gave me.
This is my day of remembrance.

For all the trials and triumphs I will go through.
Thanks in advance for being ever-present.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the time you rode into Jerusalem on a donkey.
Thanks for declaring yourself a Messiah of peace.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the time you carried your cross to the place of the skull.
Thanks for also carrying my sins and the sins of us all.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the forgiveness you uttered while hanging on the tree.
Thanks for your trust in God as you sighed your last breath.
This is my day of remembrance.

For the power you displayed as you broke down death's doors.
Thanks for bringing victory to us all.
This is my day of remembrance.

For when you will return and reign over all.
Thanks for everything that you've ever done.
Then will be the day of ultimate remembrance.

During the night, and during the day, you stood beside me all of the way.
Until you return and we party forever, I rely on my Savior in every endeavor.

This is my day of remembrance... so remember...

The Winds... 'n stuff

And why do the winds change?
Are their desires so fleeting?
Are their motivations so fickle?
They wander to and fro, never to be satisfied.
Yet they have more resolve than the heart
It is ever-searching, ever-changing
Unsure of its own two feet, it knows not what it wants
It waves back and forth, sure to give way and topple
It is insecure and must be locked up
Hidden from all to protect all from its destructive ways
If set loose, it tears apart all it touches
Leaving nothing but dust in its wake
So it must remain under both lock and key
Shut in a cell never to be opened
Lest it be the ruin of us all

...

It is true - "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" So I entrust mine to the One, the Only One, who can handle its tumultuous behavior. I thank God for His grace - He restrains the bent nature within me and loans to me His perfect one. I must resolve to make good use of it, lest I prove myself an untrustworthy steward.

...

Lately, I've had this strange urge to exclaim something in a foreign language whenever I get excited or surprised. I feel like saying something that means, "Oh, wow!" in cooler terms. I must discover this phrase; otherwise, I will be doomed to a life without precision. That, or I'll be just a little less happy whenever something makes me excited.

...

What is greater, an idea or the words that convey it?
In my opinion, the idea holds superiority. Words are but a medium through which an idea takes form. It is the idea itself that is inspired and inspires. It is true that without proper words, an idea can fail. I concede that. But without an idea the words carry no meaning. They become refuse, chaff, a dull horn that drones in the early morning. But a concept needs only a spark to ignite. If one can but grasp the tiniest bit of an idea, he can be won to its cause. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a great orator, but it was the power of his dream that fueled his words.

It is the greatest of ideas that elude our lips as we search for words. Their abstract nature taunts us until we put it to rest with sound of our voice. I'm sure you've felt it: You are on the brink of a revelation, an epiphany. You are inches from grasping that which you wish to convey, but it may as well be light years. But try hard enough, long enough, and the idea takes form on your lips, and it is beautiful. In that moment where the abstract meets the concrete, you know that something truly amazing has happened.

So, while an idea relies on words to be expressed, it is the idea that holds the true power. It is only a matter of time before it manifests itself.

Battling Phantoms

So, back during winter break I got a new game--Batman: Arkham Asylum. It's a pretty fun game, but that's not important. What is important is that in the game there is a challenge to destroy a bunch of chattering "Joker Teeth." Well, I played that game quite a bit during the break. Apparently the joker teeth stayed with me. One night, I awoke in a rather frenzied state, positive that there were joker teeth chattering everywhere on the floor around my bed. Naturally, I bolted out of my bed and ran out of the room. After a minute or two had passed, I realized that there were, indeed, no phantom dentures out to kill me. I crawled back into bed and slept through the rest of the night.

About a month and a half ago, I awoke with the overwhelming conviction that snakes were crawling on my bed and all over me. Once again, I bolted out of bed and out of the room. This time, however, my leg must have been asleep, because as I exited the room I fell all over myself. I jumped to my feet and continued my hasty retreat, only to fall again. This happened a third time. It was like I was trying to run on the sides of my feet or something. I finally managed to keep my feet long enough to make it to the kitchen where I promptly sat on my duff next to the dishwasher. I sat there until my dad came upstairs to see what all the ruckus was about. Apparently collapsing to the floor makes a little bit of noise. After I came to my senses I was able to sleep for the rest of the night. My ankle was sore for the next few days.

A couple of weeks ago, I again awoke in a panicked state. This time, I had the distinct feeling that something was attacking me, though I wasn't sure what. What was odd was that I could physically feel it hitting me. Assured that I was in mortal danger, I did what anyone would do when attacked by an invisible assailant--I bolted out of my bed and ran out of the room. Before, that would have been the end of my troubles. However, the wraith wasn't yet finished with me. I stood in horror as I felt it (whatever "it" was) strike me again and again. What scared me the most was that I couldn't see whatever it was that was hitting me. Unwilling to go down without a fight, I started throwing punches. A jab here, a haymaker there--one-two punches out the wazoo. Unfortunately, I couldn't make any of them land. To my knowledge, the wraith dodges backward every time I attacked, then struck me when I rested. After punches failed, I tried kicking it with the same result. Knowing that no attack I attempted would work, I bolted (a rather recurring theme) into the kitchen, where there was plenty of light to ward off the attacker. I hopped onto the counter and cowered for a while. Random punches are rather exhausting, so once I had worked up enough courage, I got a drink of water to quench my thirst. Throat no longer dry, I tensed myself, ran back into my room, and slammed the door to the kitchen. But the phantom was next to the other door, so I leaped over the bed and yanked the door shut. Unsure as to whether or not the attacker made it through before I shut the door, I crawled under my covers and cowered until I fell back to sleep. Needless to say, it was a rather terrifying experience.

Oh, one more thing. Francis Bacon had some cool ideas for typefaces. You should look into that.

Inception

Go watch Inception. Have your mind blown away. You won't be disappointed.

Seriously, though, Inception is probably the best movie I have ever seen. It's at least my favorite movie. Although any movie with a similar concept intrigues me, this one blew me away. Dream theory never looked so good.

You know, I wanted to write more, but Inception should stand by itself. On a related note, however, I started a blog that lists my various subconscious mishaps. http://lastnightindreamworld.blogspot.com/