The Future

One <---(I wrote that word and got distracted. Now, I have no idea what I was going to say. But I'll leave it there, in case I remember.)

Oh, now I remember. One of my strengths in StrengthsFinder is 'Futuristic.' While I think it's a slightly pathetic strength, it fits me quite well. Often I catch myself staring into the distance, devising scenario upon scenario, imagining possibilities; I don't always live in the present. The future has always captivated me and my imagination. Time, in general, has always done that to me. It makes me muse.

The concept of 'the future' puts things into perspective. Life is fleeting, "a vapor" as someone in the Bible puts it. (I think it's Jesus; I'll have to look it up.) From time to time I look at the world as if I looked through the mind's eye of my future self, fondly reminiscing days gone by, people long since departed from my life. "Where will life take me? Who will I meet? What will I be? When will I die?" These are questions that send me into reverie.

See, this changes how you view... well, anything. Every person, every activity shapes your future self, for better or for worse. It's a terribly conceited thing, but I look at a person and think, "In what way will you shape my story, my future? What will I remember years from now when I think of you?" It's part of the reason I think I'll never marry. I can't form a mental image of myself with anyone. Which is exactly the wrong approach to that, but whatever.

I imagine the future will hold many wonderful things for me, but for now I can't just dream of it. It's the unknown, to everyone "the final frontier." In this way, we are all adventurers. So, I boldly go where no one has gone before.

The AAABBBCCC's

Absolutely all atrocious alligators buy bright bowling balls 'cause cranky crocodiles call constantly. Dear Desiree, dial Doctor Dreyfus. Every elephant emits electrical emotions for feeling fantastic fiery fingers. Gorgeous, goofy girl gorillas guess how hilarious hippos horrify imps inside incredibly itchy igloos. Jolly jellyfish jokingly juggle kicking kangaroos. Kittens kinda like licking luscious lollipops minding multiple microwave munchies. Never, never, never, never operate on overly opulent orangutans. Potentially, purchasing pale purple paper quickly quiets queer qualms. Raising red roses requires really safe security sensors scattered scandalously. Two terrible toddlers tentatively totter toward twenty unbelievably ugly umpires under vicious vampire Valentine valances. Why would whiny white wusses want Xavier's xenophobic xylophones? Yesterday, YouTube yokels yelled "You're yucky!" Zany zoo zealots zap zebras.

Now I've said my ABC's... and I'll never do it again.

Cynical

There are times when I just can't stand the way the world can be. Where I look at things and know it's just not right. I was listening to a Rooster Teeth podcast (a nerd thing, I admit), and they talked about that mom that, because of a falling-out between her daughter and the daughter's friend, set up a fake facebook account as some boy. To get back at the friend, she started a "relationship" with the girl that lasted for about a year before the mother tore the poor girl's world apart. The girl ended up killing herself because of it. As these guys said, "That was a c*** move. No, that was more than a c*** move. That was f***ing evil."

It's stuff like that that turns me into a hardcore cynic. Like when I visited the Flossenberg concentration camp in Germany. It made me think. It made me stew. How could someone do something like that to another? Mankind is screwed up. To kill someone, to make someone feel like they're worthless -- it's awful. Without God's intervention, we're screwed.

But then I look at the Christian community, and it's just as messed up! You've got "Christians" who do nothing to separate themselves through their actions--heck, half the time we look even worse. We're supposed to be a unity body of Christ, but all I see are dismembered limbs. It's in times like this that I long for America to persecute the American church. For something big enough to happen in our lives to see that all our differences are petty pieces of crap.

A couple people posted this link on facebook, which brought on my cynical state. Then there's that Kansan church that picketed Betty Ford's funeral. Classy. At what point is that cool? To cause so much division where there should be unity? To hate your brother? Jesus said to call your brother "fool" was tantamount to murder. So why do we ignore him? To be honest, God's the only thing that makes me want to stay a Christian. WhatThe church (.org, I guess) sure isn't doing much to help. I might as well hang out with friends who don't stab each other in the back.

But then there are times that bring me back to the good of the Church, where I see the Body as it should be. It's the simple things, too. Playing ultimate frisbee, watching a movie, discussing philosophy, talking -- I see the way it should be. So, for a second, my cynical vision is altered by the lens of how it could be. And I endure how it is.