Cynical

There are times when I just can't stand the way the world can be. Where I look at things and know it's just not right. I was listening to a Rooster Teeth podcast (a nerd thing, I admit), and they talked about that mom that, because of a falling-out between her daughter and the daughter's friend, set up a fake facebook account as some boy. To get back at the friend, she started a "relationship" with the girl that lasted for about a year before the mother tore the poor girl's world apart. The girl ended up killing herself because of it. As these guys said, "That was a c*** move. No, that was more than a c*** move. That was f***ing evil."

It's stuff like that that turns me into a hardcore cynic. Like when I visited the Flossenberg concentration camp in Germany. It made me think. It made me stew. How could someone do something like that to another? Mankind is screwed up. To kill someone, to make someone feel like they're worthless -- it's awful. Without God's intervention, we're screwed.

But then I look at the Christian community, and it's just as messed up! You've got "Christians" who do nothing to separate themselves through their actions--heck, half the time we look even worse. We're supposed to be a unity body of Christ, but all I see are dismembered limbs. It's in times like this that I long for America to persecute the American church. For something big enough to happen in our lives to see that all our differences are petty pieces of crap.

A couple people posted this link on facebook, which brought on my cynical state. Then there's that Kansan church that picketed Betty Ford's funeral. Classy. At what point is that cool? To cause so much division where there should be unity? To hate your brother? Jesus said to call your brother "fool" was tantamount to murder. So why do we ignore him? To be honest, God's the only thing that makes me want to stay a Christian. WhatThe church (.org, I guess) sure isn't doing much to help. I might as well hang out with friends who don't stab each other in the back.

But then there are times that bring me back to the good of the Church, where I see the Body as it should be. It's the simple things, too. Playing ultimate frisbee, watching a movie, discussing philosophy, talking -- I see the way it should be. So, for a second, my cynical vision is altered by the lens of how it could be. And I endure how it is.