Sometimes, I'd rather be blindfolded when being led by the hand. The fog conceals the future, while the present is muddled, but clear. It would be so much easier to go through life unaware of all the twists and turns the God brings you through. No attachment, no unfulfilled hopes, no empty dreams. Just where you're going and God holding your hand. Instead, we let our hearts run free, holding onto something, though there lies an unseen turn just ahead. Then the turn comes, and what you thought was part of your final destination fades into the fog behind you, forgotten. So you decide to live unattached, without hopes, dreamless. Taking what comes along without putting stock in it. And you avoid pain and separation... for a while.
Then there comes a particularly unexpected twist. So unexpected, in fact, that all evidence points to this, a revelation from God--it's part of your destination, what you never saw coming. So you slowly, hesitantly grab hold of this new thought. At first you reject it. Then you consider it. Then you pursue it, but with caution. Then, you become attached to the point of pain, and something occurs to you--"If my hand gets pulled in the opposite direction, this will hurt." Because what was once felt like a nudge in that direction was nothing more than a casual bump. And you dread that turn, long for that detachment, because the turn would have come so easily, so unhindered had you just walked by, emotionless.
"But would it have been worth it to pass on by?" you wonder. "Had I not felt that nudge, made myself vulnerable, would I be as complete a person as I am now?" And you think, just maybe, even if you go through extreme pain at the turn, that the pain will have been worth it. It was a nudge, and you followed the signal. You were led through it, not past it. And you might never know, but you follow anyway. Led through the fog and the pain, holding onto what you know matters most beyond the shadow of a doubt, trusting that you aren't being led to your downfall. So just hold tighter. Don't let go. Be ready for the turn. But be ready to embrace what lies in your path, despite the pain that might ensue. And we continue on, for we are Followers.
Hm. I was excited that you wrote something, and then when I read it I was even more intrigued. Interpersonal is making you think, isn't it? Or maybe this is completely unrelated. I'd like to take some time to actually talk to you sometime soon. But if you don't want to discuss this, that's okay, too--I won't be offended. Good to hear from you in the cyber world of thought-processing!
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