Finals are right around the corner. The school year is drawing to a close. Life moves on... And I'm ready for a change of scenery. I don't know what it is, but I'm just ready for something different. Germany won't come at a better time. Three weeks away from most of the people I know best.
Don't get me wrong, I love those people a ton. But for some reason, I'm just in this state of mind where even the smallest idiosyncrasies get on my nerves for no reason at all. And I'm hoping that a change of pace will help me to adjust, whatever that looks like.
Last year, at about the same time, I went to Mexico, and it was one of the most formative experiences of my life. It shook up my thinking quite a bit. But I also became cynical about... well, about a lot of stuff. That cynicism faded in and out, but after the wear and tear of the year, it has come back in full force. And I'm hoping Germany will reverse that effect to some extent; I want Germany to be another formative experience.
I guess what I'm saying is that I need a change. A change before I come back to weddings, work, and [insert alliterating "w" word here]. And I just hope Germany will do that. My only worry is the effects of such a change. I have this (seemingly unfounded) worry that I'll come back a person my friends don't fully recognize. And I'm not sure if I'd be okay with that. Oh well, we'll just have to see.
P.S. If you want to get a look at the way my 15-year-old mind worked, or are simply looking for some cheap amusement, check this out: http://georgian-von-strangleheimer.xanga.com/
I think your worry that you'll come back and your friends won't understand you is legitimate...and probable. That happened to me when I went to England the first time, when I went to Romania, when I went to Mexico, and when I went to Ireland. It can be really discouraging, but I've found that the most important thing is to articulate your new knowledge to them. Make them aware of what these changes are, not just that there's something different. And then you might have to find new ways to get to know each other. It's nothing more than what naturally happens with friendships over time, just at an accelerated pace. I've found that when handled well, it can be really beneficial rather than alienating. Plus you'll have the Germany team :)
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